Saturday, May 1, 2010

Me Want Pretty Toes Someday

I suck at blogging. And if my kids ever want to go back and find out what their lives were like between 12 and 18 months of age, they will find NOTHING. Because I failed to blog about it. So, let me go ahead and recap: babies learned to walk, say a few naughty words, and they still use diapers instead of the toilet.

I should probably talk about the big open heart surgery that Liv will be having next week. Or maybe even mention the MRI Lauren is having on Monday because there's a chance she had a stroke. And it might be worth touching on the subject of Makenna's low t-cell count that has her immunologist concerned. But I'm way too stressed out, so I choose the subject of potty training.

I bought a toilet a few months ago. It's called the "Cheer For Me Potty". And to clarify, it's for the kids, not my husband (much to his chagrin). I'm gonna go ahead and admit that I have high hopes for this potty. I mean, look at it.


Did you notice the toilet paper holder thingy? Classy.

So, I have been letting the girls check out the potty. Sometimes I even take off their diapers and let them sit on it all nekked-like. Let me just say that the potty is a HUGE hit. HUGE. They LOVE THE POTTY. L.O.V.E. They flip the lid up and down, take the purple bowl out, climb on it, flush it, read books while sitting on it, push eachother off of it. I mean, they do just about everything...except make potty in it.

So I guess I just have to accept that my children are inferior to me because I knew how to use the potty at 18 months and they officially do not. I'm sure this will have lifelong implications, including poor self-worth and an inability to read by age 5...which we all know if you're not reading by age 5 then you'll be pregnant by 15 and will therefore not be accepted to any college, anywhere. And if you're pregnant by 15, you'll be divorced by 22, because that's just the way the cookie crumbles. All because you didn't pee in a potty at 18 months of age.

Or, is it that if you *DO* pee in a potty by 18 months of age, you suddenly are on target to achieve lifelong success...but if you don't, then you still have a chance...just not as great of a chance. Like, if you pee in the potty by 18 months success is pretty much guar-an-teeeeeed. Because that's how a lot of parents act.

Me? I just want to spend money on manicures and pedicures instead of diapers. So if my kids would please learn to use the potty, I would be most appreciative. As would be my feet.


Anonymous said...

Too Darn funny Crystal. We were on our way back from Chico yesterday... we had to take Breana out for Mother's Day. No she's not, she just didn't have enough money to take her Mommy out. Anyhow, on the ride, Susie started wondering how you and the 3 were doing. So, here I am, the first to read your blog entry. I'm honored. Sounds like they are keeping your toes "under-fashioned."
That's not acceptable. I will have Susie phone Auntie Judy and suggest a toe stipend. Oh yea, I really like that poo thing.
Love - Susie and Mike

Christina said...

OMG, this is my first time to your blog. I saw the potty chair and yelled out my excitement about how cute it was to my husband. He was less then excited as we already have a potty for my singleton. Her's is pink so I'm glad I'm having 3 boys, I mean they can't use a pink potty.

Then I read the rest of your blog post. Too funny!!

Deb and Dave said...

Just stumbled on your blog through another blog - it is very refreshing and enjoyable to read.
Best wishes to you and your fam.

Anonymous said...

are the girls ok? how are they doing? I'm so sorry to bother you but i read a few of the sentences and saw open heart surgery- is the girl who had it ok, and the others?If you could, could you answer this in a post?

Vanessa said...

Hi Crystal! I have been out of the blogging world for awhile but I'M BACK! I have so much catching up to do with your blog. I just read this post and see that Liv is having her surgery next week. I'll be keeping her in my prayers. I have to read up on her CHD again cause I completely forgot..I know..sorry. :( If you need to talk as the date approaches I'm just a click away. (((Hugs)))